OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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