maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
