your parents love me but you hate me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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