She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
