I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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