I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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