Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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