I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Your cock deserves a montage
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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