just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
