so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
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