If i come over, it means nothing
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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