white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
