My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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