Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
