I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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