Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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