Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
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A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
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I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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