Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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