yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
