I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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