The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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