ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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