i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize