I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
