That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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