mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
PANTIES FOUND
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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