so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
