Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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