Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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