Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
