If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
