No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
