we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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