I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
