This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
please don't ironically join a cult
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