Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
