im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We named our party play list daddy issues
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
