I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
