Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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