A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
