Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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