Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
