There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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