Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
