They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
