Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
