I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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