Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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