I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
