i think my tv is drunk
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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