I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
