u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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