that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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