I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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