clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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