The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
