at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
