i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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